Sunny and Me

Today would have been Nikki’s 20th birthday. I have been thinking about her a lot today. She was, after all, my first parrot. I remember how much I cried after she passed away last year. I didn’t think I would get over it, but I managed to pull through.

While I still miss and think of Nikki, I am so happy and grateful for my relationship with Sunny. Sunny and I have grown pretty close this last year.

Even after I adopted Sunny, Nikki and I remained very close, but Sunny and I never had as close of a bond. I think it is because we never had that one-on-one time like Nikki and I did when I first adopted her as a baby.

Now it’s just Sunny and me; she is my little ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Our relationship has been great. Sunny loves to help me with whatever I do, even if it is just going through the mail. She loves music and loves to sing along with me at the piano. She also loves to dance and is a much better dancer than I am.

Sunny celebrated her 20th birthday on March 23rd, and it truly was a special day. We had a countdown on Facebook, and people from all over the bird community sent her their warmest wishes. She was one spoiled, happy birdy. She got presents, and that evening, she and I had a little dance party.

Last year, I was concerned with how Sunny would deal with the loss of her best friend and little sister, but the two of us leaned on each other during the grieving process.  Sunny, who was normally very nervous and shy, began to blossom into a more curious, chatty, and playful individual.  I never felt as close to Sunny as I do today, and I love her more now than I did 19 years ago when I adopted her at 13 months old.  Sunny has shown great resilience and strength with everything she has been through. What a great friend I have in her.

Nikki (April 19, 2004 – May 14, 2023)

Nikki went home to God early on Sunday, May 14th (Mother’s Day). She will always be my little miracle because she was not supposed to live as long as she did. She survived anesthesia from her wing amputation surgery and fought some kind of respiratory infection which I later learned was due to her liver. Though Quaker Parrots are prone to Fatty Liver Disease, Nikki did not have this as she was always on a good diet. However, earlier this year, her labwork showed abnormal values in terms of liver function, and an ultrasound revealed that her liver was very small. She was diagnosed with Chronic Liver Disease and received supportive care for the rest of her life.

During the last few weeks I had the privilege of taking good care of her, administering oral supplements through a syringe and for 14 days administering antibiotics through a nebulizer. Nikki would chirp happily inside the nebulizer chamber I created out of the bird carrier. After the nebulizer treatments were finished I was feeling hopeful that she would continue to improve, however, she never recovered 100%. Unfortunately, I think that whatever infection she was fighting off was just too big for her little body to handle. The necropsy showed that she had liver damage and inflammation.

Nikki will always be my little miracle and favorite outlaw as Quaker Parrots are illegal in some states. Thankfully, I live in New York where they are legal.

I am grateful to God for the extra time that He gave me with Nikki. She couldn’t have very well died on January 25th of last year when she went into cardiac arrest when she had her wing amputation surgery. However, He gave her more time to spend with me and her big sister, Sunny. Thirteen months may not seem like a long time, but I did my best to make every moment count. Nikki not only celebrated her 18th birthday but she also celebrated her 19th birthday. She, Sunny and I spent lots of time together. On nice, warm days we went outside. Nikki learned a few tricks. She learned to target, turn around, shake her head “No” and wave. She did a couple of cute behaviors that I also put on cue. One was what looked nodding her head yes and the other looked like she was taking a bow.

We had a wonderful Christmas together. It was her first Christmas as a wing amputee and of course, she and Sunny got extra Christmas gifts. We even spent Easter together.

Nikki was fun, talkative, and had a big personality. She adjusted very well to being a wing amputee. She was the same naughty girl she always was. I can still remember when she managed to pull off several keys of my Chromebook while I wasn’t looking. Sunny just sat there and watched.

I think about Nikki every day and remember all the good times we shared. I will always remember her saying, “Hi buddy!” to me every morning.

Sunny has been a big help to me during all this. We have been leaning on each other. Nikki was my first bird, and I obviously never lost a bird before. Yes, I had budgerigars growing up, but they were the family’s. They were never out of the cage. I never got to hold and pet any of them. The bond I have with both Sunny and Nikki is very different. Nikki and I especially had a very close bond because I had her since she was 11 weeks old. She introduced me to my great love of birds, and then, Sunny came along. She was almost 14 months old when I brought her home. I always say that there would never have been a Sunny if it weren’t for Nikki.

God Performed a Miracle

Sunny & Nikki February 3, 2022

This is a story about my 17-year-old old Quaker Parrot Nikki. Nikki had wing amputation surgery on Tuesday, January 25th due to a large tumor that was discovered.

The vet said that removing the tumor alone would pose a couple problems.

1. There is muscle involvement so removing just the tumor could result in loss of function of the wing.
2. The tumor is more likely to return if you just remove the tumor as opposed to the wing.

The entire wing was not amputated. She has a stump.

Nikki is truly a walking miracle. The procedure itself went well, but she had an adverse reaction from the anesthesia. While they were trying to wake her up, her heart stopped. They did CPR and got her heart going again. Things looked pretty grim for her, though. It was thought she was going to either pass away on her own or I would have to put her down as she would remain in a vegetative state due to what was perceived as brain damage. She stayed at the clinic overnight.

We all resigned to the fact that it was Nikki’s time to go back to God, but He had other plans. The next morning at 8am I got a call that Nikki was 100 times better. She was alert and responsive, and she even bit the vet.

She came home that afternoon and since then has been very happy to see her 17-year-old sister Sunny (her cage mate though Nikki is recuperating in her own small cage next to Sunny’s).

She is eating, drinking, talking and chirping and moving around. She is getting stronger every day. I believe God had His hand in this and heard my prayers to quickly relieve her suffering whether that be to quickly call her home or quickly snap her out of it.

The Devil’s Virus

Being in quarantine has given me much time to think about many things.  For starters, I had to review my life once again and all my shortcomings, which is never fun.  I am indeed a sinner, but prior to the outbreak of COVID 19, I always had three great weapons to help me on the battlefield.  You know that we are at war you know, don’t you?  St Paul tells us this in Ephesians 6:12:

For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

We face evil on a daily basis.  Where does evil come from?  Satan, the great deceiver, and the fallen angels.  Principalities and powers refer to two of the nine choirs of angels, but in this passage from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he is referring to the two out of the nine choirs of fallen angels or demons.  The hierarchy of the fallen angels mirrors the hierarchy of the angels in heaven.

This battle against evil is known as spiritual warfare and as a Catholic, I once took for granted the three greatest weapons I had to help me fight in battle: the Eucharist, the sacrament of Reconciliation and the Rosary.  Since the outbreak of COVID 19, our churches have closed and I have not been to Holy Mass since March 8^th.  I have not gone to reconciliation since February 29^th.  And while I pray the Rosary daily, I still can’t shake off the effects of not being able to receive the sacraments.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Catholic faith.  Many times it has been said to me: “You don’t need to be in a church to pray to God.”  Of course, I don’t.  However, it is not the church building itself that I miss so much.  It is Holy Eucharist: the body and blood, soul and divinity of Our Lord Himself.  At every Mass, Jesus comes to us in the Eucharist and we have the chance to receive Him.  It is probably the most intimate moment that a Catholic can experience spiritually, and now it’s gone.

And then there is confession.  Many have said to me, “Jen, just go to God directly,”

Our blessed Lord gave his apostles, who were the first priests and Bishops of the Catholic Church the ability to forgive sins.  John 20:21-23 states:

Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” and when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Jesus forgives our sins through his minister, the priest and when one goes to reconciliation, we not only receive forgiveness for our sins, but we also receive spiritual counsel, healing and the grace needed to resist sin in the future.  Many do not realize that the Sacrament of Reconciliation, like the Anointing of the Sick, is a sacrament for healing.

A couple years ago, I attended a lecture on spiritual warfare.  The priest likened confession to an exorcism.  That was pretty powerful stuff, but it’s true.  The Sacrament of Reconciliation repairs the soul of damage due to sin.  When we sin, we become wounded and become more valuable to demonic influence.  Sin separates us from God and without God, we are weak.  How can we expect to win a battle if we are weak?

I would not say that I have lived the most difficult life, but then again, my life has not been easy either.  However, no matter how bad things got, there was always a constant force in my life that gave me strength, a force that never changed or deserted me.  That great force is not something but someone.  That someone is Jesus Christ, and while I know He is with me always, He is with me in the most special and most intimate of ways through His sacraments, which He insisted on the church He founded 2,000 years ago.

I was very upset when the churches closed back in March.  Yes, I understand we are in the midst of a health crises, but for as long as I can remember, we have always been in a spiritual crisis.  The older I get, the more and more I see us move further away from God.  With churches closed and no access to the sacraments, Satan has us right where he wants us.

I find the world responds to this virus to be very interesting given that we cannot see it.  Sure, we have seen the effects of the virus, but has anyone seen the actual virus with the naked eye?  I have not, and yet we have allowed this invisible enemy to govern how we live.  We have given up our civil liberties all in the name of something we cannot see.

I often wonder what it would be like if we could take God as seriously as we take this virus.  I cannot see God; however, I can see the effects of His presence or lack thereof among people’s lives.  We as a society have driven God away from our schools, our government, our culture and even out of the lives of our children.  We have replaced God with false idols such as fame, power, money and sex.  We have become our own gods and have taken up the motto: “If it feels good, do it.”  What was once considered good is now evil and what was once considered evil is now good.

What would happen if people responded to God’s authority and majesty in the same way they respond to a virus?  Wouldn’t that be interesting?  When it comes to the virus, we fear for our lives.  We are afraid of getting sick and dying.  What about spiritual sickness and death?   If we have a supernatural end, isn’t that essential to our wellbeing?  Yet today it is not considered to be essential in the eyes of most people.

During the early church, many people gave their lives to practice and defend the faith.  They were dealing with enemies they actually could see.  They knew that they would most likely be killed and yet they were willing to die for the sake of Truth and the Gospel.  Despite the evils that would befall them, they continued to persevere and carry out their mission of spreading the Gospel.

Today we face an unseen enemy and need God’s grace and mercy now more than ever.  Why?  Because we cannot fight this battle on our own.  This is a wakeup call to show us how vulnerable we truly are.  It is a call to repentance.  God is the source of all things, which includes our very existence.  Do we not owe it to our Creator to turn our hearts back to Him?

 

 

Quaranta Giorni

I learned something very interesting a few weeks ago.  The word quarantine derives from the Italian expression quaranta giorni,  which means 40 days.  This referred to a practice that began in the 14^th century in which any ship sailing to Venice had to remain anchored for this length of time before entering the city’s port.  This was done as a precaution to help contain and prevent the spread of the Bubonic Plague.  It is also interesting to note that Quaranta giorni borrows its name and meaning the 40 days of Lent.

I did not expect the start of 2020 to feature a viral outbreak that would spread throughout the globe, but at the beginning of March, COVID 19 made its way here and hit my state of New York very hard.  Before I knew it, we were told to stay at home and only to go out when absolutely necessary.  A couple weeks ago, we were even advised that it’s even better if one could avoid going out altogether.

People all over the country began to panic and began to stock up on items.  In fact, toilet paper was the number one item that people seemed to be scrambling to get.  Churches closed, schools closed and nonessential businesses closed.  The world began to change in what seemed to be a blink of an eye.

Prior to all this happening I had watched The Andromeda Strain, Outbreak, and Contagion.  You could say that I felt pretty prepared for this.  However, as of now, I start to wonder, how long is this going to go on?  What will happen next?

The good news is that the spread of the virus appears to be slowing down.  The not so good news is that I, like everyone else, really don’t have a clue how all this will play out.  I have hope that we will see a difference at the end of May, but I am obviously not sure.

There are many people who are anxious and afraid while others are extremely bored. The quarantine has impacted mental health, the economy and personal relationships.  At the start of the quarantine, I made it a point to be productive as well as helpful to others during this time.  I didn’t want to feel useless as an appendix if you know what I mean.

My friend, Mary, started a Positivity Project with her local library in which participants submit a photo of themselves and something positive that they are doing or something they are grateful for this pandemic.  Well, the origins of the word quarantine and Mary’s positivity project have inspired me to do the following: I have decided to share 40 positive things that I have done or am continuing to do since the start of staying at home.  Now keep in mind, this was not an easy task, but perhaps it might give you some ideas on how to spend your time or maybe even give you a good laugh.  Some of the things on this list are not impressive and some are probably silly, but again, I needed 40 things.

Here they are in no particular order.

1. Pray for those affected by the virus and for those on the frontlines be protected
2. Studied and appreciated the Book of Psalms in the Bible
3. Learned How to use Zoom and taught others to use it as well
4. Started using Instacart 
5. Finished writing a musical composition for violin called The Phoenix.
6. Learned how to make a tripod for my iPhone from a Styrofoam cup (you can find this on YouTube)
7. Uploaded music video recordings of my music to YouTube (hence why I needed the tripod).
8. Connected more with people from my parish, Holy Rosary
9. Stayed connected with members of the Rose Hawthorne community of the Lay Fraternities of St Dominic in which I am a temporary professed member
10. Assisted in creating virtual activities for members of my local community.
11. Spent more time with my parents and parrots, Sunny and Nikki
12. Connected virtually with friends
13. Exercised more
14. Celebrated Sunny and Nikki’s 16^th Birthday
15. Learned that there is a St. Corona 
16. Watched the movie, Idiocracy, and hope that humanity will have a brighter future
17. Watched The Twilight Zone episode “The Shelter,” which I had not seen in all my years of watching it
18. Took more naps
19. Participated in virtual meditations
20. Hosted a virtual birthday party for one of my friends
21. Continue to work remotely
22. Practiced piano more since I do not have an organ to practice on at home
23. Had ridiculous fun recording myself sing and talk using the audio program, Audacity
24. Learned that even quarantine does not lessen moody behavior in parrots during breeding season
25. Get excited when going out to the mailbox to bring in the mail.
26. Wash my hands much more often
27. Cleaned out and reorganized the closets
28. Watched the documentary Outbreak: Anatomy of a Plague
29. Gave my father a haircut and was successful.
30. Played hangman and Scattergories virtually with friends
31. Keep a gratitude journal
32. Supported The Front Line in Westchester and Feeding Westchester
33. Watch funny videos on YouTube for much needed comic relief
34. Attend Holy Mass virtually via live stream on the internet
35. Virtually attended Holy Mass and the Stations of the Cross via live stream
36. Celebrated the Pascal Tritium
37. Managed to find paper towels and toilet paper despite shortages
38. Took lots of photos of birds (guess which two)
39. Listen to music,  podcasts and talk radio
40. Continue to thank God for technology, electricity and indoor plumbing

St.Martin de Porres

I had never heard of St. Martin de Porres until I met one of his namesakes, who was my parish priest, Fr. Martin. Five years ago, Fr. Martin blessed my two small parrots, Sunny and Nikki, the day before the feast of St Francis of Assisi.. I wrote about that experience in To Bless or Not to Bless. Anyway, a few weeks after this special blessing, Fr. Martin had asked me questions about living with parrots.

“Do you take birds to a vet when they get sick?” he asked.

I told him that there are veterinarians who specialize in treating birds called avian veterinaries.

“Well, since I am a priest, I would pray over them and they would be healed.” He stated this with confidence. This is when the subject changed to the saint after whom he is named. “Do you know St. Martin de Porres loved animals? He even had an animal hospital.”

This interested me since the only saint I had ever associated with animals was St. Francis of Assisi.

He went on to tell me about St. Martin, the doctor of Lima, who like St. Francis, treated animals as if they were his brothers and sisters because they, too, were part of His creation. Like us, animals are dependent on God for their very existence.  St. Martin even treated sick and injured cats and dogs at his animal hospital set up at his sister’s home in the country.

After my brief introduction to St Martin de Porres, I decided to read more about him and discovered that he indeed was a living example of charity.

Martin was born in Lima, Peru as the illegitimate son of a Spanish nobleman and a young freed African slave woman. Abandoned by his father at a young age, he grew up in poverty and was ridiculed for his illegitimate birth and for being of mixed race. Despite all this, however, Martin would be willing to share whatever little he had with those who were in need.

At the age of 12, Martin went to work for a barber who was also a surgeon where he learned to cut hair, heal wounds and prepare and administer medications.

A few years later, he wished to join the Dominican Order in their work. However, at this time, the law in Peru did not permit individuals of African or Indian descent to enter religious life. He was allowed to work in the monastery with them as a lay helper performing menial tasks such as sweeping floors and answering the door. However, his years of good works and miraculous cures led the Dominicans to allow him to join the order as a religious brother.

Martin maintained an austere lifestyle, which included fasting and abstaining from meat. He spent many of his nights in prayer while his days were filled with nursing the sick and caring for the poor.

Martin was reported to have the gift of bilocation or the ability to be in more than one place at a time. He also possessed the gifts of levitation, miraculous knowledge, instantaneous cures and the ability to communicate with animals. As Martin’s fame spread, people came from near and far to ask for his prayers, healing, and spiritual counsel. He treated every person with dignity and respect, regardless of their state in life.

Martin was a formidable fundraiser, obtaining thousands of dollars for dowries for poor girls so that they could marry or enter a convent.  Many of his fellow religious took Martin as their spiritual director.  He was also a good friend of Rose of Lima, another Dominican saint of Peru (as well as my confirmation saint).

He was venerated from the day of his death. Many miraculous cures, including raising the dead are attributed to him. His feast day is November 3rd and he is the patron saint of people of mixed race, barbers, innkeepers social justice and racial harmony.

In 1962, St. Martin de Porres was canonized by St. Pope John XXIII.  The passage below is taken from his homily at the canonization Mass (Die 6 Maii 1962: AAS 54 [1962], 306-309), which can be found in today’s Office of Readings in the Proper of Saints of the Liturgy of the Hours.

The example of Martin’s life is ample evidence that we can strive for holiness and salvation as Christ Jesus has shown us: first, by loving God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind; and second, by loving our neighbor as ourselves.

When Martin had come to realize that Christ Jesus suffered for us and that he carried our sins on his body to the cross, he would meditate with remarkable ardor and affection about Christ on the cross. Whenever he would contemplate Christ’s terrible torture he would be reduced to tears. He had an exceptional love for the great sacrament of the Eucharist and often spent long hours in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. His desire was to receive the sacrament in Communion as often as he could.

Saint Martin, always obedient and inspired by his divine teacher, dealt with his brothers with that profound love which comes from pure faith and humility of spirit. He loved men because he honestly looked on them as God’s children and as his own brothers and sisters. Such was his humility that he loved them even more than himself and considered them to be better and more righteous than he was.

He did not blame others for their shortcomings. Certain that he deserved more severe punishment for his sins than others did, he would overlook their worst offenses. He was tireless in his efforts to reform the criminal, and he would sit up with the sick to bring them comfort. For the poor he would provide food, clothing and medicine. He did all he could to care for poor farmhands, blacks and mulattoes who were looked down upon as slaves, the dregs of society in their time. Common people responded by calling him “Martin the charitable.”

The virtuous example and even the conversation of this saintly man exerted a powerful influence in drawing men to religion. It is remarkable how even today his influence can still move us toward the things of heaven. Sad to say, not all of us understand these spiritual values as well as we should, nor do we give them a proper place in our lives. Many of us, in fact, strongly attracted by sin, may look upon these values as of little moment, even something of a nuisance, or we ignore them altogether. It is deeply rewarding for men striving for salvation to follow in Christ’s footsteps and to obey God’s commandments. If only everyone could learn this lesson from the example that Martin gave us.

 

 

ScanScore, A Musician’s Friend

Having a visual impairment since birth presents one particular challenge when it comes to playing music: I had to be able to read the music.  As an organist, one thing I have to be aware of is how far away the music rack is.  While the music rack on the organ I practice on is at a comfortable distance, the organ in which I take lessons sits further away and does not allow for any kind of adjustment in terms of bringing it closer.  Because the music sits further away from me, I was struggled to read it.  This required me to make the music notation bigger.  I needed to produce a larger printed version of the scores to bring to my lesson so that I would be able to read and play from the score.  I began manually imputing the notes of the score into Finale, which allowed me to create and print musical scores with magnified type.

Though this method was successful, it was time-consuming, and I wanted to be able to easily convert music score PDF files into music that I could edit to fit my visual needs.  Recently, I had the opportunity to try ScanSocre, a score recognition program, which turned out to be a positive experience.

ScanScore

ScanScore comes in three different flavors: Melody, Ensemble, and Professional.  Besides price, the main difference between the three versions relates to the number of music staves per system that can be scanned and recognized.  ScanScore Melody recognizes one staff per system, as in the case of a lead sheet, which consists of a single-line melody with chord symbols on top.  ScanScore Ensemble can recognize up to four staves per system, and ScanScore Professional, which is the one I am currently using, can recognize up to 32 staves per system.

I decided to put my latest project to the test: the Little Prelude and Fugue in G Minor, which is attributed to Johann Sebastian Bach.   I needed a larger version of this score to take with me to lesson.

Importing Musical Scores

The program provides three options in which you can import your musical score into the program.

1. You can use almost any scanner to scan in printed scores.  Only specialized devices requiring special software may cause problems.  You can either use the standard parameters (300 DPI, color), or you can be prompted to set up the settings yourself.  You can scan as many or as few pages as needed.
2. You can Import PDF and picture files stored on located on your computer. The supported digital file formats include JPEG, BMP, PNG, TIF, and PDF.  These files will open directly into the software and be converted.
3. You can your music with your Smartphone using the ScanScore Capture App, which is available for Android and iOS devices. Once the app is synced with your computer via a QR Code, you are ready to take a picture of a printed score.  Once you snap a photo, tap the send icon, and boom!  The image becomes available in the program for conversion.

I had a PDF copy of the score, which was much cleaner than my hard copy, so I decided to just import the file into the program that way.  The program recognized the music and presented a side by side version of the original score on the left and the recognized score on the right.

Editing the Recognized Score

The interface of the program is pretty self-explanatory and easy to use, even for someone like me, who is not the most tech savvy person out there.  In the program, you can edit elements, such as pitch, rhythm, barlines, clefs, dynamics, and articulations.  You even have the option to change the tempo, key signature, add repeats and chord symbols.  There is also a playback feature that allows you to listen for errors in the imported score.

You can make as many or as little edits as you like before exporting your project as a Music XML file.  However, the more you edit within the program, the more accurate your export will be.  ScanScore shows incomplete measures with a purple line and overcomplete ones with a light blue line. The number at the end of the bar denotes the voice you need to correct.

Moving Beyond

Once you’re satisfied with your project, you can either save it as a ScanScore document or export it as a Music  XML file.  Then, you can import the Music XML file into the music notation program of your choice, such as Finale or Sibelius.

Generally, while I was working on my Bach project, I did most of my corrections in Finale because of the complexity of Bach’s music and my years of experiences using the program.  However, I was amazed at the edits I was able to complete within ScanScore.  Considering that I just started using the program, I thought I did pretty well.  Furthermore, ScanScore has a great demo video on their website to help you get started.

A Note About Musical Scores

It is important to note that the quality of your scanned scores will have an impact on how well the ScanScore will perform.  Besides Bach, I scanned all kind of musical scores using the different available options.  I noticed that books, especially thick books that connat lie flat, will not scan as well as sheet music, which can lie flat.  Due to its thickness, and larger size, one of my organ books did very poorly in producing a high-quality, scanned image for ScanScore to recognize.  However, scores that had high-quality printing that could easily lie flat produced better scans and were better cognized.  I also have PDF files of sheet music downloads on my computer which consist of hymns that I needed to play at Mass.  I found these PDF files did quite well and required the least amount of edits.

If you would like to learn more about ScanScore and try it yourself, there’s a trial version of the program, which can be downloaded from the official website http://scan-score.com/en.

 

Laryngitis

I realize that I have not written since February, but if I could summarize the last few months, one word comes to mind. You guessed it! Laryngitis.

Ever since I was a freshman in high school, whenever I would come down with a cold, almost 95% of the time, I would also get laryngitis as well. I guess it’s some kind of two for one special. Whatever it is, I definitely don’t want it.

Getting sick during my academic career happened like clockwork, I would be hit with a cold around December and then again in April. As a choir singer, we always had concerts around those times, and you guessed it, I would be singing with a hoars voice most of the time.

Laryngitis is one of the reasons why I never desired to actively pursue a singing career. My voice is just something I can never seem to count on. I could recall when I was in my high school choir, I would sometimes get a solo, but when concert night came, my then soprano voice would take on a new raspy quality of its own. I sounded like a female version of Rod Stewart. It is not easy to sing when you are recovering from Laryngitis. I was always worried that my voice would crack. Somehow, thanks be to God, I managed good vocal control.

This year, a few days after Sunny’s 15th birthday (March 23rd), I was greeted with a sore throat which morphed into a cold and of course, Laryngitis. Now, I can handle a cold, but Laryngitis is not so easy since it makes me sound a whole lot sicker than I actually am. Whenever I had to answer the telephone at work, I would always say in an apologetic way: “I have laryngitis. I don’t normally sound like this.” Whenever I get laryngitis, I sound like a much hoarser version of Joan Rivers.

After a week or so I was back to my old self again and everything was going great. Nikki turned 15 years old (April 19th), which was then followed by Easter on the 21st. Things were looking up, and I thought I was in the clear, Laryngitis-wise. The weather was getting warmer, and the days were getting longer and sunnier.

May seemingly started off well until Friday, May 10th, which happens to be my father’s birthday. I started to feel a bit off and thought I was experiencing a postnasal drip caused by seasonal allergies. However, by Saturday afternoon, my voice started to go and at around 9pm that evening, I began to feel quite sick. I had a low-grade fever that reached 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and I began to experience body aches. Thankfully by that next morning, my temperature went down to normal and the body aches subsided. I wanted to rejoice but well, I had no voice. Furthermore, my head was killing me and felt like it was going to pop. It was a cold, and laryngitis was again at my side. Whenever I attempted to talk, a little squeaky voice would come out. I sounded a bit like Mickey Mouse. It took extreme effort to talk and so for that entire day, I didn’t. I am sure the Hallelujah Chorus was being sung somewhere.

Today, my voice is starting to return. Though I still sound a bit like Joan Rivers, at least I can speak a little bit more comfortably without any strain. Laryngitis is one of those things that I wish I didn’t get more than once a year. It always comes at the worst time. Perhaps it should be thought of as a reminder to be grateful that I can talk.

I realize that others might enjoy my added silence, as I have been told that I talk too much. My mother’s most frequent question to me is: “Can you go five minutes without talking?” The answer to that question is of course “yes,” but when I have a lot to say and share with people, I prefer to just let it out. Better out then in is what I say.

As my period of silence comes to a close, I can happily celebrate my voice’s return. Here is to many great conversations and wonderful church choir singing!

 

Time

I just realized that I have not written in five and a half months! That’s insane! I could have sworn that I had written at least back in November. Now it is 2019. Tomorrow is February 1st. I can’t get over how fast time is moving. It is horrifying.

When I was 17 years old, a teacher once said to me: “One day you will wake up and be 30 years old, and you will wonder where all the time went.” I remember thinking that I had a long way to go before I hit 30. Now I am inching closer to 40. I am less than three years away from my 40th birthday. They say life begins at 40. I hope that is true because honestly, I still don’t feel like my life has started.

I feel the way one might feel when trying to catch a train.  You are moving as fast as you can to get to the train platform. You see other people racing ahead of you. You have only minutes, maybe even seconds to spare. The train is arriving and notice the people ahead of you board it. You are moving as fast as you can and yet it all seems to be moving in slow motion. You hurry down the stairs and land on the platform. You see the train and hear the engines running and begin to make a run for it, but before you know it, the train is already leaving. That is how I feel when it comes to life. The train is time, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to catch up with it. Instead of riding with time, I am stumbling behind it.

Below is a poem called Time, which I wrote and later set to music.

Time
Unseen enemy
Most needed friend
Do not run out on me

Time
One step ahead
I fall behind
Please, slow down

Time
Wait for me
Do not leave me
Oh how your magic deceives me

I feel you moving
Faster and faster
Where are you going?

You slip through my fingers
Hold still for a moment
All I have is just this one moment!

Time
Unseen enemy
Most needed friend
Do not run out on me
Do not run out on me

The World of Dreams

Have any good dreams lately?

This is one of my popular lines that I use to start a conversation with people that with whom I am well-acquainted.

I have discussed dreams and their connection with God in earlier blog posts.  I believe that in dreams we can indeed encounter the divine and receive powerful messages.  I have seen loved ones who have gone before me, which even include beloved pet.  You can read more about these experiences by clicking on the the blog category labeled Dreams Dreams.

Today I would like to talk about dreams in terms of being a therapeutic activity.  Everyone has a hobby that helps them distress.  I just happen to enjoy one of my hobbies while I am asleep.

Ever since I was a kid, I have been fascinated by dreams.  In fact, when I was 13 years old, I began my independent study of dream interpretation.  I had bought my first book on dreams called The Illustrated Guide to Dreams by Valarie Francis.  It was around this time I learned about Lucid Dreams, which is when the dreamer becomes aware that he or she is dreaming while in the actual dream state.  By the time I was 13 years old, I had lucid dreams on several occasions.

When I was a freshman in college, I read Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen LaBerge and Howard Rheingold.  It was this book that taught me to experience lucid dream at will.  I remember keeping a special dream journal contained written accounts of all my experiences.

Part of learning the art of  lucid dreaming is being able to immediately recognize whether or not you are in fact dreaming.  It is a habit that you would only practice while dreaming but during waking hours as well.  Obviously there are things I am not able to do very well in dreams that I can do while awake and vice versa.  For example, in dreams I have difficulty reading.  The letters often become scrambled and/or difficult to read.  Often times whatever it is I am reading will not make much sense either.  Being able to read the time in dreams is always strange, too.  The numbers will not make sense or in some case I will see letters instead of numbers  I also have trouble turning lights and electronics off in dreams.  They always seem to turn back on.

While I am in the dream world, I am able to do the impossible.  I can fly, walk on water, breathe underwater, teleport to a new location and travel in time.  Most of the times, if I am dreaming and I jump, I will float.  This is a dead giveaway that I am dreaming.  Often times, I will experience what is known as false awakening.  I will think that I am awake in my bed and get up, but I am really in fact asleep.  Jumping, helps me to determine if I am really dreaming or awake.  If it is in fact a dream, I let my imagine run wild.

I have written my best music in dreams.  It is just too bad I can never recall what I heard upon awakening.  I have been a secret agent working for the FBI, a warrior princess, a healer, a violinist who plays Celtic style music, a trombone player in a pit orchestra, a dancer, a soldier, and yes, even an angel.

I have flown to outer space and saw Mahrs, flown a helicopter, flown a flying car (yes they exist in my dreams), done standup comedy, starred in comedy and Syfy movies and have even been a film director.

Dreams have been a source of comfort in my life as well as a source of entertainment.  I must say that whenever I am going through a rough spot in life, my dreams have a way of lifting my spirits.  When I dream I feel so free.  I must confess that I feel the most joy when I dream.  The dream world is so beautiful and my senses are heightened.  The colors and sounds are truly wonderful.

I have dreamed up some interesting characters, which include imaginary friends from child.  I see people from real life in my dreams as well such as family, friends and coworkers.  I even dream about my birds.  I must say that I have quite bizarre dreams about those two.  I no longer have this particular dream as much as I used to but I would constantly have this dream that my two little feathered friends would start to multiply in numbers.  In the dream I would see the two of them: Sunny, a sun conure and Nikki, a quaker parrot.  Then I would see two Sunnies and two Nikkies, then three Sunnies and three Nikkies, and so on.  Soon there would be several of them and I would be trying to figure out which two birds were the original two.

Dreams are a reflection of our waking lives and I would say that in many ways, my birds have taken over my life.  They have weaseled their way into my creative music projects, blog posts and I would say that at least 95% percent of the pictures videos on my camera roll are of them.  It has been said that I talk about my birds a lot, too.  Therefore, it is no surprise that they would take over my dreams, too.

Many people I talk to tell me that don’t dream.  That is not true.  Everyone dreams every night.  It is a matter of learning how to remember your dreams.  If you would like to start remembering your dreams, you can start by keeping a journal or digital recorder by your bedside.  Upon awakening, immediately try to recall what you dreamed the night before and record it using a digital recorder or write it down later. The trick is to immediate recall upon awakening before even sitting up in bed.  This is when the details are most fresh in the mind.  Once you are set up, new thoughts of the day pop into your head and will most likely cause you to forget what you dreamt.

Well, I will close for now.  Sweet dreams!