Sight, Sound and Beyond

Archive for the ‘Music and/or Art’ Category


I realize Mutethat I have not written since February, but if I could summarize the last few months, one word comes to mind. You guessed it! Laryngitis.

Ever since I was a freshman in high school, whenever I would come down with a cold, almost 95% of the time, I would also get laryngitis as well. I guess it’s some kind of two for one special. Whatever it is, I definitely don’t want it.

Getting sick during my academic career happened like clockwork, I would be hit with a cold around December and then again in April. As a choir singer, we always had concerts around those times, and you guessed it, I would be singing with a horse voice most of the time.
Laryngitis is one of the reasons why I never desired to actively pursued a singing career. My voice is just something I can never seem to count on. I could recall when I was in my high school choir, I would sometimes get a solo, but when concert night came, my then soprano voice would take on a new raspy quality of its own. I sounded like a female version of Rod Stewart. It is not easy to sing when you are recovering from Laryngitis. I was always worried that my voice would crack. Somehow, thanks be to God, I managed good vocal control.

This year, a few days after Sunny’s 15th birthday (March 23rd), I was greeted with a sore throat which morphed into a cold and of course, Laryngitis. Now, I can handle a cold, but Laryngitis is not so easy since it makes me sound a whole lot sicker than I actually am. Whenever I had to answer the telephone at work, I would always say in an apologetic way: “I have laryngitis. I don’t normally sound like this.” Whenever I get laryngitis, I sound like a much hoarser version of Joan Rivers.

After a week or so I was back to my old self again and everything was going great. Nikki turned 15 years old (April 19th), which was then followed by Easter on the 21st. Things were looking up, and I thought I was in the clear Laryngitis-wise. The weather was getting warmer, and the days were getting longer and sunnier.

May seemingly started off well until Friday, May 10th, which happens to be my father’s birthday. I started to feel a bit off and thought I was experiencing post nasal drip caused by seasonal allergies. However, by Saturday afternoon, my voice started to go and at around 9pm that evening, I began to feel quite sick. I had a low-grade fever that reached 100 degrees Fahrenheit, and I began to experience body aches. Thankfully by that next morning my temperature went down to moral and the body aches subsided. I wanted to rejoice but well, I had no voice. Furthermore, my head was killing me and I felt like it was going to pop. It was a cold, and laryngitis was again at my side. Whenever I attempted to talk, a little squeaky voice would come out. I sounded a bit like Mickey mouse. It took extreme effort to talk and so for that entire day, I didn’t. I am sure the Hallelujah chorus was being sung somewhere.

Today, my voice is starting to return. Though I still sound a bit like Joan Rivers, at least I can speak a little bit more comfortably without any strain. Laryngitis is one of those things that I wish I didn’t get more than once a year. It always comes at the worst time. Perhaps it should be thought of as a reminder to be grateful that I can talk.

I realize that other might enjoy my added silence as I have been told that I talk too much. My mother’s most frequent question to me is: “Can you go five minutes without talking?” The answer to that question is of course “yes,” but when I have a lot to say and share with people, I prefer to just let it out. Better out then in is what I say.

As my period of silence comes to a close, I can happily celebrate my voice’s return. Here is to many great conversations and wonderful church choir singing!



Thursday, March 1, 1990

Today is Thursday, March 1st.  For many it is the first day of a new month but for me, March 1st has great significance.  It was on Thursday, March 1, 1990 that I officially began my piano studies.  My first piano teacher was Donna DeAngelis, who also taught my eldest sister piano.

Most parents want for their children to learn the piano and in many cases, it is against their children’s wishes.  I can recall many stories of individuals telling me that they took piano lessons because their parents wanted them to learn, and they never practiced.  It was the complete opposite with me.  I had to really prove that I was  interested and that I would stick with it for at least a couple years.

My interest in piano lessons began to grow when an “incident” occurred at a childhood friend’s house.  I was about seven years old, and my friend showed me a small electronic keyboard that had a series of buttons at the top.  She pushed one button and soon I heard a simple melody with a drum accompaniment.  I listened to it a couple times.  Then she pushed another button, which produced the drum accompaniment alone.  My fingers immediately jumped to the keyboard, and I began playing the song exactly how I remembered it.  My childhood friend immediately jumped up and ran into the kitchen where her mother was.  I followed to see what the excitement was all about.  “Mom! Mom!” she cried “She can play it!”  I was shocked by her enthusiastic response.  I had no idea what the big deal was.  Wasn’t that how everyone learned music?  My friend’s mother told me that I should take piano lessons.

Prior to my piano studies, I had mimicked the melodies I heard on the radio or television.  I was like a little parrot mimicking speech (no wonder I live with parrots now!).  I would fumble around the keyboard and strike notes until I could get them to sound like a melody I had heard earlier.  I did not even know the names of notes I played, but I could hear the difference between each one.  Each one had a special color and it were the colors that helped me play by ear.

I can still remember my first piano lesson.  I was eight years old, and the first thing I learned was all the names of the notes.  I could remember my teacher introducing me to them.  That’s when I learned that the pink note was C, the green note was D, the blue note was E, etc.  In a matter of minutes I could find and name them all (including sharps and flats).  Within a couple months I learned two things about myself:

  1. I had hearing loss and needing to wear hearing aids.
  2. I had absolute pitch or the ability to correctly name musical notes that I would hear on piano.

It seemed like a paradox to be a hearing impaired musician who had absolute pitch.  Was that even possible?  I didn’t know, and to be frank, I didn’t care.  Sure, I was struggling to hear my classmates in school, and was afraid to answer the telephone (I had trouble hearing the person at the other end).  However, I had a very good musical ear according to my piano teacher.  I honestly thought the hearing loss was simply temporary and would cure itself on its own.

It took me a while to accept my hearing loss for what it was but eventually I did accept it when I was 12 years old.  Not only did I accept it, I never allowed it to prevent me from continuing my musical studies.  In May 2004, I earned a Bachelor of Arts in Music at Manhattanville College where I concentrated in piano performance, and in May 2008, I completed a Master of Music at Purchase College where I concentrated in composition.

Now, I am currently studying the organ.

If you had told me when I was eight years old that I was going to study piano for the next 20 years, earn two music degrees and then start studying the organ in my 30’s, I would look at you like you were nuts.  It is amazing where that first piano lesson took me, and it’s amazing how your life can change with some encouragement.  The world becomes a better place when someone gives you a chance.  My first piano teacher actually believed I could succeed.  Not everyone is lucky to have such support.

March 1, 1990 is more than just a date.  It marked the beginning of a wild and crazy musical adventure.


A Reluctant Organist

unnamedIf you asked me ten years ago if I would ever consider learning to play the organ I would probably say, “Nope.”  For the last couple months, I have been pondering the idea, and with the help of a fellow choir member and colleague, I found someone who was willing to teach me.  I am schedule to have my firt lesson a week from tomorrow.

How did all this happen?  Well, after our church music director got a job closer to home, the choir scrambled to find someone who could fill in until our pastor could hire a permanent replacement.  After playing a few masses on piano at my church and even playing a mass on Christmas Eve with another parish at Westchester Department of Correction, my interest in playing music at church became even stronger.  There was one problem.  I didn’t know how to play the organ, and the more I thought about it, the more curious I became.  Could I actually learn to play?

Once I began considering the idea of learning to play the organ, my mind began to attack me with negative thoughts.

Are you kidding?  At your age?  You’re too old to learn a second instrument!

As a classically trained musician, I have often heard it said that to be a good musician on any instrument, it is best to start very young.  Most accomplished pianists begin their piano studies between the ages of 3 and 5.  I was 8 years old when I started, and according to classical standards, that is considered to be over the hill unless you happen to be a genius.  In case you are wondering, I am not a genius.

Now here I am at 35 years of age wanting to learn the organ.  Besides learning to play on at least two manuals (keyboards), I would be required to play on a pedal keyboard using my feet.  P.S. I am not the most well-coordinated person.  If you don’t believe me, you should check me out when I am out on the dance floor.  I may enjoy shaking a tail feather, but I don’t know if others enjoy watching me do so.

I took 20 years of piano lessons, and it wasn’t until my mid 20s that I began to play at a pretty reasonable level.  How long would it take me to play at a decent level on the organ?  Would it seriously take me another 20 years?

I haven’t even started lessons yet, and I have already been faced with my fair share of challenges.  I thought finding a teacher would be one of the most difficult parts, but there was something even more challenging: getting access to an organ.  I didn’t get the green light from my own home parish, and once I informed my father about it he quoted Luke 4:24

No prophet is accepted in his hometown.

Finally after many emails and telephone calls, I finally cut a break with another parish in my neighboring town.  The music director there was a huge help, and through him I was able to gain access to the organ in their small chapel.  The chapel has less activity than their main church, so I would less likely be an intrusion on other people.  This chapel is actually closer to where I live than my actual home parish.

I do not know what the outcome of all this will be.  I have been told by a couple people that God is calling me to pursue this and to become a church organist.  So far, I am not feeling like that’s the case.  Now don’t get me wrong, I initially felt it when the idea first popped into my head, but the feeling only lasted for a few minutes.  My own mother was confused by my interest in becoming an organist and said:

I don’t understand why are you doing this.  Holy Rosary doesn’t need an organist.

She failed to see that this was something beyond Holy Rosary.  Besides, I wouldn’t say that I am Holy Rosary’s most popular choice for church musician (although the choir likes me yay!).  To be quite honest, I am the one that fills in when there is absolutely no one else available.  For example, I played piano at a healing mass once because none of the musicians from the folk group were able to attend.  It was summertime and people were away on vacation. Let me just say when I was asked to play, I was pretty excited and gave it my best effort.  Sure, I was the only person left in the pool of choices, but I still got the call!

Last Sunday, we had no organist to play for the 9:30am mass and so with only 15 minutes prior notice, I jumped in, hoped for a miracle and played the mass on piano.  I will add that before I arrived at the church, my mother gave me some of her useful advice:

Don’t interrupt the priest by coming in too early with the Sanctus.

She was referring to the last time I played at mass.  Before all the angels and saints could begin proclaiming God’s glory by saying “holy holy holy,” I had already gotten started.  I am thinking all of Heaven was like “Whoa!  Check out that anticipation on Earth right now!”  Either that or Heaven had a good chuckle.  Whatever it was, I hope, it to some extent, pleasing to the Lord.  Messing up in church is truly a humbling experience.  P.S. There were twice as many holies sung at that particular mass.  There’s your silver lining!

Anyway, my parents happened to be at the impromptu mass that took place this morning.  My mother said:

You did very well.  I didn’t hear any mistakes.

Well, I managed to fool her.  There were plenty of mistakes and thankfully, our Lord was very gracious in helping me cover them up.

As I bring this blog post to a close, I recall a phrase that someone very close to me said a couple weeks ago:

“Go where God leads you.”

Let’s see where He takes me.

Can Music Be a Form of Prayer?

Screenshot 2016-04-27 21.42.01

excerpt of  “In the Beginning” from Images

A year or so ago, I was riding in the car with one of my friends who has the same first name as I do.  I don’t remember the exact sequence of the conversation, but I went from talking about God to talking about one of my music composition projects.  “Gee Jen, ” she said, “I am surprised you don’t write religious music.”

I always wondered that myself.  Honestly, I never wrote anything that would be considered religious.  I never wrote a Mass or anything like that.  Many of the great composers have already written such wonderful works, so I never felt the need to write any sacred music myself.  I was always trying to find my own voice and do something different.  The fact that I had not written or was even considering writing any sacred music seemed quite bizarre to me.  After all, I am active in my church’s music ministry.

The topic of music and God, also came up in a discussion I had with my spiritual director some time ago.  She mentioned how music can be a form of prayer and worship and used King David as an example.  While The Ark of the Covenant was being brought to Jerusalem, he danced before the Lord .

“As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord;”2 Samuel 6:16

“Oh, but I don’t compose religious music,” I told her, “and much of the music I play would be considered secular.”  She had told me that my performance and compositions didn’t have to be of a religious nature to be considered a form of prayer.  It seemed really strange to view my own music as a form of prayer or praise to God.  I have studied music written for The Church, is considered sacred since it was clearly directed to our Lord.  However, when I began to think more about the process of composing and the art of performance being forms of prayer, the more it seemed possible.

God is the source of all creation and I believe all things come from God as well.  For example, I just finished recording a CD of original piano music that will be coming out next month.  If at least one of the compositions would be called “good,” I couldn’t take all the credit.  The closest sacred work that I have composed that is included on the disc is Images, a collection of seven piano pieces inspired by my pilgrimage to the Holy Land.  Each piece was inspired by either a specific place, moment or feeing during my visit.   It isn’t written for the Mass or anything like that, but I would consider it sacred because it was inspired holy places and spiritual experiences.  It is a trip that transformed me in many ways.  The scriptures came alive and I felt it brought me closer with the Lord.

Screenshot 2016-04-27 21.55.41

excerpt from Revelation

For me, the art of composing and performing is a spiritual collaboration between man and God.  Sometimes the two can be completely in sync with one another where the music just flows freely and effortlessly.  This rarely happens to me, but when it does, the experience is awesome.  An examples of this happened to me in 2011 when I was writing a piece for the North/South Chamber Orchestra called Revelations.  The ideas for this composition seemed to pour out into my head and I simply followed where the music led me.  There seriously had to be strong Divine Intervention for that work.  I called it Revelations because it literally was revealed to me.  Was it revealed to me by God?  I would like to think so!

As for performance, the mind is truly in the present moment and only when the mind is in the present moment can one be in the presence of God.  I can recall many performances in which I felt very well connected with the piano and truly in the moment where I was able to connect with the audience and other musicians who were performing with me.  This is what I love about playing chamber music, there is more of a sense of community, a kind of joining together in group prayer.  In my best performances, all sense of time is lost because I am completely immersed in this heavenly world.

Much of my music comes from my own personal experiences, and even though I have free will, God is still the author of my life since He created me and knows everything about me.  Much of my music is inspired by my two avian companions, Sunny and Nikki, and who created them?  I think our Lord smiled when He imagined those two!  He seems to work His hand in everything.  Man may have built the first piano, but who created man and gave him the ability to imagine such ideas?  Our ability to create comes from the Creator.  After all, we are made in His image.  Therefore, when anyone creates a something that would be considered beautiful, powerful or a masterpiece, it is not simply just a human effort, but a collaboration between God and man.  Where there is collaboration there must be a dialogue of some kind, and when one engages with a dialogue with the Lord, that is called prayer.

As I write this, I recall a gift my mother gave me one Christmas.  I was a pillow that read the following: “Music, a Celebration of the Soul”  I couldn’t agree more, for when the soul is in perfect alignment with God, it truly has a reason to celebrate.

Dancing on the Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee

One of the most memorable experiences I had while visiting Israel was traveling by boat on the Sea of Galilee. On the morning of February 22nd, we left our hotel in Tiberius and went by boat to Ginosar to visit the Mount of the Beatitudes.

The boat ride was not what I expected it to be. I imagined that we would all be sitting in something similar to a row boat, but the boat was a fairly decent size. We were able to walk around on it and at one point we were dancing on it. We all danced to traditional Israeli folk music, and it was a lot of fun. I felt so happy and alive, and I enjoyed learning the Hebrew words to the traditional folk songs. I had always been familiar with the melodies, but never really knew how the words went. There were CDs there for sale, and I purchased the one that featured the folk music.

There is something so wonderful about music and dance. I believe that God expresses Himself through these art forms and that much of the arts are really a conversation between God and us. We speak, He answers, and the dialogue continues. As a musician, I feel fortunate to have this ability. Even if I am not the best of the best, I know the integrity and love is there, and through that, the Lord can work His hand in it.  I attribute my finest works and performances to Him because anything that is good comes from the God.

We are all called to a close relationship with God, and I believe that music is the best way for the Lord and I to communicate and nurture our divine friendship. Music is a language that everyone can understand, and it has the power bring people together. My mother always used to recite a well- known quote. I don’t know who actually said it, but it goes something like this: “Music is the language from heaven, which cannot be spoken in words.” I couldn’t agree more.

Piano Duo Venti Dita Update

Piano Duo Venti Dita

Piano Duo Venti Dita CD

Well this was announced a while back but thought I would also mention it on my blog as well.  There has been a change in Piano Due Venti Dita personnel.  I, Jennifer Castellano, have moved on to pursue other musical interests and therefore am no longer apart of this unique piano team.  

So Piano Duo Venti Dita now welcomes Alison Neely.  I am glad for Marvin and Alison to be working together and I wish them a great partnership.  They both live in Princeton, thus making it easier to rehearse.  Since I am in New York (40 minutes above midtown), a lot of travel was involved when it came to Marvin and I rehearsing and performing in concerts.  Nevertheless, it was a fun three years working with Marvin and as his musical pal and sidekick, I wish him the best in all his future endeavors.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  I realize I have not written a very long time.  I must confess that I have been pretty lazy about it.  For starters, I wanted to share that back in September, the Association of Adult Musicians with Hearing Loss released a CD entitled Hear This! Music from the Association of Adult Musicians with Hearing Loss.  This CD features two piano performances by Yours Truly.  I play Brahms’ Klavierstücke Op. 117, No. 2 in A Major and Scribin’s Prelude Op. 67, No. 1.  Both of these performances were recorded live during recitals did in my 20s.

Piano Duo Venti Dita

Also, Child in the Garden: Contemporary Music for Piano 4 Hands, the CD project I did with Marvin, became officially available months before that.  The CD is a collection collection of music from the 20th and 21st centuries.  We recorded works from Italy, Estonia, Latvia and the United States.

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