I am an avid reader and have a hunger to know things beyond what the physical senses can reveal to me. While most people enjoy reading novels, I find myself drawn to books on philosophy, dreams, spirituality and books found in the Bible. Today I spotted a book I started reading last year but left unfinished. The book is called Lucid Dreaming: A Concise Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and in Your Life.
There was a folded piece of paper inside the book, which I used as a book mark. I never seem to have a bookmark handy when I am readying a book. Somehow, all my book marks end up lost, so I often use index cards, business cards, papers, etc. However, the paper that was used as a bookmark wasn’t just any piece of paper. It was one that I had been looking for these past few months.
Years ago, I was feeling down and wrote an email to my father expressing my feelings of apprehension and sadness. I was and still am my own worst critic and I had expressed to my father my thoughts and feelings of how I felt like my life wasn’t going anywhere and that I would never get ahead in life. I was about 28 at the time. For some reason, I feel most comfortable expressing my feelings in the form of a letter. It allows me to get everything out in the open.
After emailing my father my letter, I received an immediate response. I printed out his reply and saved all these years. Whenever I would have a day where I felt down in the dumps, I would pull out that message he sent me and read it again. Words really have the power to uplift the soul and my father’s words did exactly that and more.
I think a lot of us face gloomy days. Sometimes we may briefly feel blue, but other times we can sink deep into sadness, never feeling like we will ever come out of it. The mind is a bully and very often can deceive us into believing things about ourselves that aren’t true. My father has always been my mentor and best friend. He is one of amazing forces in my life who continues to help me see life much more clearly.
For several months, I thought that email my father wrote to me was long gone and lost forever. I thought that perhaps I accidentally threw it away or something like that. The paper had become so warn and wrinkled that it would have been easy to mistake it for garbage. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I found it again.
Below is the message my father emailed to me years ago that continues to help me journey on in life.
Jen, read the letter with great interest and while I can write volumes in response. The bottom line is that you are being too hard on yourself and are judging success by conventional standards and not what really counts. By today’s standards even Jesus would be considered a loser…………..no real job, not married, folks think he is a bit weird, talks to an imaginary friend, etc………………..yet he was the most influential person in history. I think he was content with himself and his mission in life. Being fulfilled is the true measure of the successful person and not many folks today are happy but instead are miserable and make everyone around them the same. Whining is a very bad habit. I know you are trying and your goals appear to be reasonable. Just keep trying and try to enjoy yourself and stay away from any and all negatives.